so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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