two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
