I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
