If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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