I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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