How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
