Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
