Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
