You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
