Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
