i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
