my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
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