we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She bit a glass in half.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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