I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
