Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
