party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
