i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
