I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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