Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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