perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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