But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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