you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
