i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
