she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
