How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
