Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
