do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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