So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
