We won't sleep together?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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