Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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