I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
