physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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