Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
