So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
