I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize