her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i think im in europe. pls send help
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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