It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
