we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
