So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
