I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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