Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
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he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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