im drinking this country out of the recession.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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