I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
