I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
