he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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