Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
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She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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