i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
