When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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