u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
