The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
