i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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