So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize