I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
