Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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