I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
