im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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