Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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