I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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